☊ smtown singapore 2012 ☊

I know, I know … it's been 4 months and this is an extremely overdue post. I was hoping to ease the despair of missing out on SS5 in Seoul by backtracking on past fangirling moments ㅠㅠ. I have to preoccupy myself with something to stop from desperately wishing to be in Seoul last weekend.

So I'm taking this chance to go back to November of 2012 and post some of my SMTown pics. I was seated on a regular bleacher spot which was verrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry far from the stage. My blind loyalty to my fandom and serious lack of judgment earned me my farthest and most drenched ever kpop experience ㅋㅋㅋ. Anyway, it was still a fun concert to have been to. I'm just telling myself that I can never be this (err) young again to endure and survive fangirling ^^.



Note: Pictures are in no particular order except for the finale ^^.

EXO babies are <3 ^^ Why the heck didn't I get a decent shot of Chanyeol!? But atleast I have a screen image of Baekhyun~~~



Girls Generation. I somehow managed to take plenty of pictures of the girls. It did help that I was not screaming my lungs out while I enjoyed their performances... that was mostly why I got fairly ok pictures.









Shinee. My lovely boys were always on the center stage so it was hard to get a good picture... plus they had all the flame effects which just tinted everything red on my camera hahaha.



Boa + DBSK + Collaborations. Ah yes, no f(x) pics because it was at this moment when the rain started to pour down ㅠㅠ. I did admire f(x) soooooooooo much for braving it through their performance!!!!




And then of course, the reason why I got myself into SMTown SG at all ... SUPER JUNIOR <3 <3 <3











SMTown SG would have been perfect if it was held in the Singapore Indoor Stadium. I just had to say that ㅋㅋㅋ. But of course, that did not happen. The venue was instead at the gorgeous and scenic The Float at Marina Bay. The sad thing was that the weather was teasingly uncooperative on concert day so the bleacher seats were completely wet even before the concert started. The heavens also drenched the fans pretty badly near the end of the concert. Thank goodness for rain parkas!!! It was my 3rd time having to endure intense showers for a concert. These are the moments when reason had escaped me and I can only persist to stay and get more drenched than do the more logical thing and seek cover. Anyway, no one ever said that fangirling is a logical discipline ㅋㅋㅋ.

So there it is~ my humble SMTown spread. I always remind myself that these crazy things I do will make me laugh later on in life when I'm old and wrinkly ... when all the fangirl screams have become just echoes ... *sigh*

☊ hyesung with mustache ☊

One of the shinbang moments when I knew for sure that I was falling for Hyesung oppa was when his cute mustache was mentioned in Ep 44:

"다른 사람은 수염이 나면 멋있는 것 같은데, 나는 귀여운 것 같아"

How cute was he when he was mimicking his old self!?!? ㅋㅋㅋ You can picture the imaginary mustache and the imaginary mirror perfectly!


Here's that exact moment from their Run MV filming when he was quoted saying the above comment. Waaa, little prince is forever cute it seems...


Kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! That momentary spark in his eye when you know for sure that he acknowledged the fact that he looks soooooo damned good ~~~ that kills me so bad…

☊ time is passing ☊

와 진짜 오랜만이다 … I really intended to diligently exercise my right to spazz through this space but the past months were just thoroughly overwhelming. 힘들텐데 … 난 그냥 멘붕이야~

I left things here while at the brink of transforming into a full blown Shinhwa Changjo. I really didn't understand what I was getting into at that time. I've always considered myself to be a single fandom type of fangirl as my world revolved around being an ELF for the past 5 years. It was a strange, somehow burdensome and a very scary feeling to be drowning in yet another sea of fanchants, balloons, and unending screams.

근데, 어떡하지? There was no use swimming against the tides. In these 6 months, I went back to my early 2008 phase again~ wild eyed and scouring the web for old youtube videos, songs, pictures, profiles, and whatnots to satisfy my Shinhwa fixation. The sensation was very familiar as I went through these same motions with Super Junior. One blog led into another and prompted infinite video searches which filled plenty of my sleepless nights. My external drive began screaming for help as I unexpectedly filled it with Shinhwa downloads of all sorts. My once fanatical sapphire blue world has inevitably been tinged with a very potent shade of orange.


☆ Hyesung oppa looking so MAGNIFICENTLY PERFECT in an old clip~~~ kyaaaaaaaaaaa^^ ☆

I surrendered to confusion and stopped writing. I missed out on sharing my drenched SMTown SG experience, Sungmin's birthday, SJM's new album, KRY's new releases and all the tears from skipping SS5 in Seoul. I can always claim that my hectic work schedules and holiday celebrations ate up most of my time. And they did (honestly, they did) but I had more serious challenges than those. Deep inside, I knew that I was struggling more on how my Eric-biased RICSYUNG fanaticism was transforming into a HYESUNG-bias RICSYUNG obsession hahaha. Oh well, silly things consume what's left of my sanity as always.


☆ Celebrated Ming's birthday with a strawberry cake! ☆

I wasn't able to visit Seoul last year (and that sucked big time) so I was really looking forward to coming for SS5. So imagine how UNBELIEVABLY amazing it would have been to come for Shinhwa's 15th Anniversary Concert (last weekend) and stay in for SS5 (this weekend)? Ah, but the heavens conspired against me and gave me a major work commitment for Q1-2 ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ. I literally shed painful tears realizing how messed up my plans have become. The drama queen in me started nitpicking on my fangirl retirement seeing how things were becoming too inexplicably wrong ...

And so I decided to start writing again. I had to diffuse a bit of the chaotic nonsense in my head. I figured that if I can try to keep things up in here again then I might not feel too defeated with my missed Seoul opportunity. There will be other concerts ... and somehow I will learn to accept my ever growing limitations as a foreign fangirl ... and soon enough I'll manage to find the balance between my 2 major biases ... I just have to keep moving forward.

So I'm (hopefully) back. I'll try to piece together my delayed spazzing updates in the next days. And you'll definitely see more of my idol oppas from here on. Here's to making choices and braving through them!

☊ ericholic: aegyo leader ☊

와아아아아아아아~~~~~ 어떻게? 완전 귀엽다 ...

☊ 우리 리더님 ☊

☊ falling for shinhwa ☊

Everything started with Super Junior's 2 episode guesting on Shinhwa Broadcast. Like most of Suju's epic variety appearances, I couldn't get enough of replaying Shinbang Ep 28 and 29 (most especially the coupling segment on Ep 29)! As always, I was overwhelmingly enamored by Suju's crazy variety antics… but with each re-run, I found myself getting drawn into the charms of Shinhwa members as well.

I've known Shinhwa as early as 2008 when I was just starting to get into this fandom. At that time, their Once in a Lifetime MV kept playing and there were several features on them on Arirang TV. When I came to Seoul for a Hallyu concert that fall, Lee Minwoo was even one of the performers as "M"! But my heart was so consumed with Suju back then that I can't hear, see nor love anyone else *aigoo* …




Earlier this year, Shinwa's comeback was such huge news that I can't help but get infected with the viral excitement! I found myself thoroughly enjoying their The Return album and even took time to watch some comeback performances. I just LOVE LOVE LOVE their ballad song "Hurts". But I left it at that and didn't pursue anything more. A couple of weeks ago, I had a long chat with a fellow ELF and Shinhwa Changjo on why she's so addicted to Shinhwa now. Reading her heartfelt thoughts on the group gave me goosebumps as it was like seeing myself talk about how much I love Suju…




And so I followed my friend's strong encouragement to check out earlier episodes of Shinbang. I've known for a while that she's a Hyesung fan so I took her intense recommendations with a grain of salt. I know all too well how biased opinions can be all too passionately inaccurate ㅋㅋ.

So with a slow pace, I began watching the first 4 episodes of Shinbang and they were such a delight! My Hyesung-fan friend mentioned that she got hooked on Shinhwa from episode 5 onwards. I didn't think much about that comment as I believed I was just enjoying some variety backtracking while off season with my kdramas. Ahhhh but I should have taken her words more seriously. Episode 5-6 were key milestones for me much like that EHB episode where they had a hidden camera for Hyuk and Wook. I was unexpectedly choked up with tears and then doubled up from laughter. I soon realized that I crossed the point of no return. I was becoming a new fan.









There was no way to stop from there on. I had to continue watching the other Shinbang episodes up to the new ones. And then I had to re-watch their Venus and Hurts performances from earlier in the year. Through these, I found their Must, Win Win, God of Victory, Beatles Code, Guerilla Date, and Radio Star appearances. I read up on their 14-year history leading to the establishment of the Shinhwa Company. This is why sometimes, the internet feels like a plague. Each click is like wildfire spreading like crazy and leading me to more addicting videos and articles and pictures and whatnots. Before I knew it, I was spending late work-nights and 2 full weekends totally, enthusiastically and unbelievably engrossed on Shinhwa.

At this point, I haven't even decided who my Shinhwa bias is ㅋㅋㅋ. Choosing is really too complicated. I was once again reminded of how it was almost impossible to single out Sungmin back then. But of course, as soon as I knew I have my Ming at heart, he was really all I could see.

The funny thing with Shinhwa is that it seemed like my Suju boys chose my bias for me! Sungmin, Eunhyuk and Ryeowook all went for Eric on Shinbang Ep 29. I thought Eric was so dashingly handsome at that time as well … but I was feeling quite charmed by the other members too. I thought Andy's shyness was really cute and endearing, Hyesung's pretty face and gorgeous voice were breathtaking while Dongwan was really funny with such a melting smile. Later on, I found out how Minwoo is really passionate and ridiculously funny too while Junjin has charms which never end. But after the MT Hidden Camera episode, my heart has been fixated with E.R.I.C.



What happens after a bias is established? INSANITY!

That feeling that I cannot get enough of him is all too familiar. Pictures, performances, drama cuts, CFs, and his English raps ~~~ it's suddenly a world of never ending Eric moments I have to catch up on. But even if he is the leader, he doesn't get much airtime in their group activities. Looking for his shadow-like figure at the sides and at the background is a skill I've honed from tracing Sungmin amongst his many members. Somehow I fell once more for someone who fears the limelight ㅋㅋㅋ.

Despite of all of my recent psychosis, I am still an ELF first before I am a Shinhwa Changjo. I get my major kicks out of RicSung moments but my heart is happiest when Suju-Shinhwa stories are revealed. Destiny is that feeling of elation upon learning how managers scold Suju for being much like Shinhwa! This is the first time that I'm loving another idol group after Suju so I'm not really sure how to go about it. But I believe that LOYALTY is SINCERITY ... 진심. So I'll continue to remain sapphire blue blooded because my foolish heart earnestly loves these crazy suju boys.

♪♫ My heart you got the key with a new start you set me free
You make me breathe; Make me believe that I'll do this again and you're all that I need
I was gone now you found me, I feel the love all around me
One thing I know baby I won't be alone that's why its all cuz of you when I'm on the road ♪♫

☊ eye candy: shinhwa’s eric ☊

This is Shinhwa's leader, Mun Junghyuk. I can't get enough of him.






Sleepless nights bleed into absurdly painful mornings.
Lightheaded with blinding surges of awe, respect, and fascination.
Weak from alternately laughing my heart out and crying my fears raw.
Falling in love is never quite easy.




I've been on an alternate universe in these past weeks.
All because of E.R.I.C.